A Voice to Be Heard

I’ve been quiet for too long

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

Over the past 10 months, I have been seriously contemplating starting a blog documenting my course thru a divorce. I wanted to document what occurred as a simple therapeutic exercise but it now has become one of passion. The current state of affairs has gotten me to a point where I cannot be quiet any longer. I’ve held my tongue, done what I was ordered and been trying to cover myself, my children and future as best as I could.

The family court system in America is one of abuse. The children take a backseat to the gains of the legal system. Fathers are treated like 3rd class citizens. If you are successful, that success is used as a way to take you down. There is no idea of the individual but that of a collective.

I’ve slowly been educating myself on the legal rights I should have but what has been done to take them away from me. Fathers have the burden of proof to show they are parents. Instead, you have “educated” people using their experience, expertise and resources to do what is right, not just in the law but for children. I was hesitant about naming individuals but based on legal happenings and news events, I want to bring people to light. It’s time for change.

As I work on this blog, I will be generating quite a lot of posts that illustrate the way I have been treated, how my children have be left in despair, and a future left at the decision of someone in a black robe.

I want this to be a resource for other fathers out there. You aren’t alone. I’m in Florida but I see it across the country. It’s time to show that fathers, and men for that matter, are equal and not the throw away sex that we are portrayed to be in the media and legal system.

Who are you?

I’m a man. I’m a son. I’m a father. I’m going thru a divorce. It’s all overwhelming but then I see who else is going thru this.

Why am I doing this?

  • It’s therapeutic for me in some capacity
  • I want to detail the issues going on in Family Court.
  • I want to help other fathers and men that will be going thru this
  • I want to change the system

I started with humble beginnings. Lower-middle class family. Moved from a small city to a big metro area. Then my parents divorced. It wasn’t clean. There was some nastiness. The kids were used. This was in the mid-80s.

Then I grew up. I had some adventures. I got to do some things in life. I met great people and some nefarious ones. I got in to trouble and then changed my life. I focused on me.
Then I thought I met a woman I could get married to. It just happened and then we had kids. Time went on and a career, life and more growing happened. As all these things intertwined, the two people who traded vows grew apart. Discussions got heated and then argumentative. Worlds grew even further apart and we weren’t even in the same universe as far as ambition, motivation, life and love.

The day I stated “I don’t love you anymore,” my world blew up. I was left and the kids removed. That’s when the true nature of someone became apparent.

Life is an evolution physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. If you can’t learn to merge together in these aspects with your partner, it’s doomed. That’s what happened to me.

Now, since September 5th, 2017, I have been living in a nightmare. I have been accused of things to gain leverage of a situation. Being a man, the Family Court system has been used to abuse me. It’s time for me to speak out and speak up so that I can help others.