Very rarely is this the case. As in my last post, the sexist projection that is the norm in Family Court today has got to change. Once this changes, then it’s a trickle down effect. Guardians (GALs) can’t shake this mindset. I’ve heard dozens of stories where a GAL was involved and one parent (usually the mother) was a complete mess, personality disorder, drugs, you name it but then was granted custody because the dad was working.
This is the situation I am in. The GAL in my case, is a complete sexist wreck. Mountains of evidence showing the neglect and abuse my daughters are experiencing and yet it turns a blind eye. I’m provided videos, pictures, texts, emails and this person has failed to do their job. In court, she testifies she has an interest to stay on this case because of “two young, impressionable young girls” but routinely ignores what was brought to her and can’t even spell their names correctly.
She has addressed monetary issues regularly. Filing motions for me to pay, addressing the “wife’s need for money,” and then mentioning that I’m “unwilling to pay.” The agreement to get this failure involved was to protect my kids. From the onset, it was solely a focus on my ex-wife.
After filing in March 2018, my ex-wife and I lived together for a bit in the marital home. We came with a plan based off the kids’ therapist to alternate weekends. We did this successfully. Then things got more hostile. My ex-wife spent more time with her boyfriend and there was more conflict. She stayed out of the bedroom and went in to the youngest’s room. But would stay up all hours and keep our daughter up. This went on for weeks and she wouldn’t change even after our daughter would ask her to stop.
Speaking with my therapist and knowing she had a boyfriend and then an apartment, he suggested to find a separate room and give her that room for herself. Put a bed in it and her belongings. Based on events happening to my daughters and constant neglect and conflict with them, I agreed to do this. The only room available was huge laundry room. I cleaned it out and made room for her. She generally stayed only 3 days a week if that at the marital home.
Once this was done, the GAL became involved and this was her focus against me. I was accused of minimizing the mother’s role in the family. Nothing about the domestic violence or child abuse against my daughters. Nothing about her hiding a firearm or false accusations. Nothing about previous convictions or her DUI. It was a focus on me and a bed in the infamous laundry room.
Reflecting back, was this a good idea? Maybe not. But this was done for my girls based on what was happening. I had been threatened with being destroyed and the living situations weren’t good. It was toxic for both girls.
To this day, the GAL has the same focus. Its constantly a mention of money. The entire report was a few mentions of the children yet it was about facts being glossed over but then her accusations being taken as gospel. We have had this GAL involved since Oct 2018 and there’s been no final report and a $25,000 invoice that is still growing and that I am on the hook for.
My ex-wife speaks to her almost on a regular basis but there is only limited interaction with me. I send emails and make phone calls and there are normally no responses or just a thanks and she’ll take it in to consideration.
A GAL is there for the children. That’s it. Not as a second attorney. Not as a woman’s advocate. Use the facts. Use the kids testimony to you. But that isn’t what happens. This is the 25-40 year stigma of men that is so ingrained in our society that people like this GAL can’t wrap their mind on the effects of the kids. It’s solely that the woman needs help and for some reason the man is the aggressor.
I’ve made numerous efforts to remove this sham of a GAL but it’s taken thousands of dollars so far and there is no urgency by the judge. The system is corrupt and sexist.
My next goal outside of judicial reform is reform for the GAL system. This pervasive mindset thru all aspects of a dissolution has to be gutted and made to fit how society evolves over time.
Insight of a Father in Divorce 