Cluster B and Me!

I’ve mentioned a few times about Cluster B Personality Disorders. These are becoming a more prevalent issue in today’s society as more information is disseminated out and social media begins to have a grip around our necks.

So what are Cluster B Personality Disorders?

Just having a quirky personality, weird personality, narcissist or just general assholes aren’t part of this grouping. Generally speaking, Cluster B types have impulse issues, emotional issues and regulation issues.

Normally people are just the former issue rather than the latter. However, some people have issues addressing things or emotions and react in such severe ways they don’t quite understand themselves the impact they’re having. Most of these issues are caused due to a traumatic event in the early formative years that shapes their mental and emotional development. There’s a stunt to the growth, if you will. Critical thinking is halted and a regression takes hold.

Things are seen as all good or all bad. Black-and-white. There’s no middle ground. One day you’re a king, the next day you’re the most evil person in the world. To coincide with that, there’s degrees of severity to it also. Low, moderate and severe. Low severity usually can be overcome with age or some therapy. Moderate usually has therapy and severe takes a whole focus on resolving and years of work. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DPT) is what is used.

For years, I didn’t understand how in one instant I could be the worst human ever and then the next a champion. I chalked it up to age. She was extremely young when we met, never lived alone and was sheltered by her parents (to such an extreme that reflecting back you think “what was I thinking”). My glorification usually happened after some type of material object or desire was met. If there was anything that upset her, hours and days would go by with anger. Then things would be ok. There were a few instances where if I asked for help, she would lash out because “I said I would take care/pay for everything” or when I said “I’m not in love with you anymore,” the kids were forcibly extracted from here and whisked away to somewhere else.

Then there were abandonment issues. When I said “I do,” that meant it was supposed to be forever. No exceptions. I’ve been accused of trying to make her homeless, leaving her alone, trying to make her poor, etc. All the while she’s had a boyfriend and a funded salon (which will be another topic).

Where does this tie-in with the divorce and the Family Court system. Someone with these Cluster B PDs will perceive themselves as a victim. You are the abuser/aggressor. And this will be played up in court to an extreme. And it works exceptionally well because there’s a rationale that men are the predator and women are the prey and this is something we as men are doing to take advantage of the women.

But the perceived stereotype is wrong, it’s all an act because within the mind of someone with Cluster B PDs, the scenario they’re playing out has been repeated over and over that it is now real. Then that story is conveyed to the Family Court and attorneys with so much veracity, emotion and realism that it is taken at face value. Especially if it’s from a woman. If a man makes a similar claim, even with evidence, it’s doubted from the start.

And this is where the Family Court systems are ill-prepared. The judges and most lawyers (including GALs) haven’t been trained to deal with people, men and women, who have these type of PDs. It’s taken as truth and then “abuser” is then reprimanded usually with their rights completely stripped away.

This is my scenario. As I stated before, I thought the reactions to scenarios were maturity or being sheltered as a kid. But it kept going on for years, then over a decade and then it happened more and more. After filing for divorce and things blew up out of control and then being told “I was going to pay” or get taken down, I wanted to know what or why this was going on. I tried to make things fair and just so that we could equally take care of the kids but each offer was just tossed to the side. Zero communication. Zero counters. Police were repeatedly called. Then mediation and the first offer. Something so out of this world no reasonably minded person would take it. And then things ramped out quickly out of control.

After mediation I was told “Court is going to be my (her) best option.” And that’s when I knew this was going to be bad. And it spiraled in to misery from there.

And the Family Court system took it all in with open arms. “Another woman is a victim? We will fix that.” Every filing and motion she made was about money. I was kicked out of my home with 2.5 hours notice. Florida law states 24 hours but the judge didn’t care.

More motions for money. More money. Falsified financials. It kept going. The GAL helped to perpetuate the narrative of Jason the Abuser. She is the victim. Her story and accusations were left to be heard. To this day, none of my evidence has been seen or heard and no laws, higher court decisions or statutes in the state have been honored. Lawyers have changed on her side 3 times. We are now at a point where it’s in a hold which means no end in site. I’ve presented offers again and indicated the money and resources are gone and this is killing the kids. I ask to do what is best for the kids. Provide studies and evidence. No response.

To this day, the Family Court system is allowing the abuse to carry on. If you bring this up to the “professionals,” it’s almost immediately dismissed. But this problem has to be addressed at some point. And that is why I’m using this blog to show that when the kids are taken away as the focus, this systematic abuse for everyone occurs. And it won’t stop unless the money stops. The money stops when the kids are the focus.